Under My Skin
by Andani
Summary: Alfred hadn't always been like this. As Matthew was staring at his brother's arm, he remembered when they were chubby, and they'd wrap around him at night, or when he was really little and they'd scoop him up when he fell down. Alfred had been amazing. And now he was a twenty-eight year old drug abuser, who was asking his sixteen year old brother to check for bugs under his skin.


_This is an human AU in which the NA brothers are about 12 years apart. Arthur and Frances are their older half brothers, and are mentioned but do not make an appearance. Alfred has developed a nice meth addiction over the years.  
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_This is not romantic, just familial love, with plenty of swearing and drug content. Rated mostly for safety.  
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Matthew watched his older brother across the room. He was sitting in the corner of the couch, curled up in a ball, drooling in his sleep slightly. He frowned.

Alfred had turned into a bit of a loser.

He didn't drink, but he'd picked up a nice drug habit somewhere down the road.

At first, it was just little things.

But the little things soon turned into something bigger.

And something bigger, turned out to be meth. Cocaine when he got his hands on it, but mostly meth.

In the time since he'd started, Matthew noticed a lot of things.

Alfred's skin had become greyish, and sandpapery, he was thin -thinner than he'd ever been. He used to be quite chubby in places. His cheeks were sunken and he had bags under his eyes big enough to go shopping with. The most noticeable and disgusting feature though, was the scabs on his arms.

Where he insisted there were bugs crawling under his skin. He'd scratch so much that it bled.

And where it wasn't scabbed and scarred from his paranoia, it was scabbed from where the poison was trying to leave his body.

Matthew looked away from his brother, disgusted.

He hated who Alfred had become.

A paranoid freak.

And nothing like the song.

There was always someone coming to get him. And these episodes usually ended with him dragging Matthew into a closet and hiding under a mess of blankets with him until he was sure the coast was clear.

Matthew had long since stopped trying to convince him otherwise.

He did have to draw the line though, when Alfred tried to paint the windows in their apartment black so that the FBI couldn't see in. He'd agreed to tape garbage bags over them, but painting them?

It just wasn't happening.

He also had to draw the line with "aliens are trying to control my thoughts!" when he no longer had enough tin foil for cooking -on a regular basis. He tried hiding it, but Alfred always seemed to be able to find it. And so on the rare occasions that he did go out and leave his brother alone, he would return to find Alfred had made himself a tin foil suit of armour. He'd needed to put a stop to that.

Although, Alfred had gained more paranoid delusions at the loss of these two.

"Mattie?"

Matthew was jerked from his thoughts at his brother's voice. He looked over and eyed him for a moment before speaking. "Yeah?"

"It's itchy. The bugs...they're itchy."

The younger brother stood from his seat in the armchair, and crossed the dim room silently. He sat next to Alfred and reached out for his arm. The older brother stretched it out and watched with wide eyes as Matthew pretended to examine it.

"There are no bugs, Al..."

"Yes there are, you just can't see them because they're under my skin. I can't get them out."

"I see..." Matthew said quietly, unsure of what to say next. He paid close attention to the skin in an effort to not look at his brother's face. He hated what Alfred had become. An overgrown child with enough issues to lock him away for good. He remembered when he was a kid, and Alfred would look out for him. He was about twelve years older, and when their dad left them, Alfred had tried his best to make ends meet. They had two older half-brothers, one from their mother, one from their father; but who knows what happened to them, they probably weren't even aware that they existed at this point. So he looked after Matthew the best he could. He made sure he ate well, and that he got to school every day.

Alfred hadn't always been like this.

As Matthew was staring at his brother's arm, he remembered when they were chubby, and they'd wrap around him at night, or when he was really little and they'd scoop him up when he fell down.

Alfred had been amazing.

But now he was a twenty-eight year old drug abuser, who was asking his sixteen year old brother to check for bugs under his skin.

Matthew scowled at the thought. He was angry with Alfred for what he'd become.

"Why...?" he whispered.

"Why what?"

"Why do you have to be like this?"

Alfred blinked a few times. The question didn't make sense. It wasn't _his_ fault there were bugs in his skin, after all. Maybe Matthew was out to get him, too. Maybe he worked for the FBI!

No.

Mattie was his baby brother. He certainly didn't.

Unless...

"Let's just go to bed. I'll help you up." the younger boy said as he stood. Alfred eyed him suspiciously for a moment, but untangled himself from the sofa cushions and held his hands out for Matthew to take as leverage.

Silently, they made their way to bed. Matthew helped Alfred get changed and made sure that he brushed his teeth and when they were finished, they crawled into bed. Matthew had long abandoned his own bed. Alfred was just so paranoid that for a while, he refused to let Matthew sleep alone. And Matthew wasn't about to test if the situation had changed.

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_Please Review!_ _I haven't written something like this in such a long time and I do love getting reviews :C_

_Also, I've grown up with people with drug addictions (my dad and now my younger brother) so I'm not just pulling this stuff out of my arse!  
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